axis-parataxis: razmonk: axis-parataxis: Deal-breaker: He wouldn’t fuck you on a bed of marshmallows. literally what the fuck Aisha i told you about that in confidence AND THEN YOU POST ABOUT IT ON TUMBLR?! ugh. omg colin i didnt name names but now everyone knows u tramp
axis-parataxis: Deal-breaker: He wouldn’t fuck you on a bed of marshmallows. literally what the fuck Aisha i told you about that in confidence AND THEN YOU POST ABOUT IT ON TUMBLR?! ugh.
Literally just told someone Goldie, my cat, is 17...
Damn, my grandma is classy as fuck.
I'm over everyone and their cute relationships.
You’re free to go.
Since you creep
I don’t know how I feel about our friendship. Because for me friendship and a relationship are two hugely different things, so I’m not going to be who I’ve been before around you. So, keep that in mind.
lesserjoke: jennifer lawrence just seems like a tumblr person who made it outside Truest thing I’ve seen on Tumblr all day.
When your crush went from being "in a...
omghilariousblog: Click for more funny posts=))
I lost like 5 followers in two days.
I need to stop talking about my personal life oh wait, i don’t give two fucks how many followers I lose.
Not enough porn on my dash.
So much shit in my life, I've decided to start...
Straight guy: Jennifer Lawrence is hot
Gay guy: Jennifer Lawrence is hot
Straight girl: Jennifer Lawrence is hot
Gay girl: Jennifer Lawrence is hot
Jennifer Lawrence: I look like a troll
I feel like shit.
On the upside, I thought “Me siento como mierda ahorita.” Accidentally thinking in Spanish is awesome, actually.
Why I (a gay guy) will be forever alone:
Attractive boy: Hi! I will be incredibly too busy to even give you the slightest acknowledgement that you exist.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm famous and completely inaccessible.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm straight, so the only serious relationship we'll ever have begins with a "b".
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm a douchebag, and for the most part you'll just be a really awesome fleshlight to me.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm twice your age, so most people will assume we're related and that'll make any kind of PDA painfully awkward.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm a lot younger than you. Jail anyone?
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm taken and/or blissfully happy without you.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm going to friend-zone you. Good luck not developing feelings for me while I depend on you for everything except romance!
Attractive boy: Hi! I live on the other side of the world.
Attractive boy: Hi! I'm not even the slightest bit interested in you because you're too tall, or too short, or too skinny, or too fat, or too fem, or too masc, or too boring, or too outgoing, or I don't like your skin color, or I think your hair is gross, or some other reason that will make you feel like there's something or several things terribly wrong with you.
I don’t know what I’m doing, honestly. I’m so tired of trying. I just got off the phone and I’ve been given two awful choices, almost like a no win ultimatum set in front of me. And thank god, Sara is singing me to sleep. I just want to cry. Times like this, I miss the person I used to be.
I just want to go to college already. I am beyond over all this high school bull shit.
After seeing the movie, I ship Haymitch and Effie
peeta: how to win the hunger games without really trying
You're the king of mixed signals.
Make your actions reflect your words.
Sometimes I want to reenact iPhone conversations...
but I know no one would play along :(
me: get me the notes for what you just played
sydney: :( such a long waaalk
me: omg just get a piano app
Sorry I’m useless and haven’t been posting. Love me anyway
I feel like William will one day be the quintessential grumpy old man.
I used to write a lot of classical music and...